The Pit

Ted found himself trapped at the bottom of a deep pit.

There were occasionally flickers in his memory of a time outside the pit. Sun and wind and rain and all the rest of it. The memories didn’t seem real anymore, as though the were simply the product of his imagination; dreams of someone else’s life. Mostly, he found his day-to-day existence dominated by his location.

The pit was a dark hole with, a thick, cloying atmosphere. There was a stream of water that flowed out of a hole on one side, and lichen and snails that seemed to be somewhat edible on the walls. It was deep enough that the only light that entered Ted’s space was dim.  His eyesight had adjusted eventually, and he could make out enough of his surrounds to get around, if he felt like it. However, the desire to do much had fled from him some time ago. He had, at one stage, considered trying to leave the pit, and had dug his fingers into the sheer walls to try to climb out. But the earth was think and moist and came out in clumps in his hand, and he could find no purchase, and the exertion made breathing in the cold, heavy air difficult and painful.  After several attempts he had grown frustrated and stopped trying, coming to accept that he could never change his circumstances, and would remain in this pit as long as he lived.

In time, this acceptance made his life easier, for with no other life to hope for, he didn’t need to worry about what was happening outside. His pit was all he had. It was his home, his life. It was all he needed, and wanting anything else was just foolishness.

He occasionally thought he heard a few voices drifting down from the mouth of the pit. He would respond, now and then. He felt he had to. They’d taken the time to talk to him, after all. Occasionally, they’d ask Ted whether he was doing okay where he was. He was sometimes a little confused by this, and took some effort to assure those voices that he doing fine, thank you. He’d been going okay this far. If he was really in trouble, he’d notice, wouldn’t he? The question began to grate on his nerves. He’d already tried to leave the pit, and he’d failed. The pit was where he was meant to be.

Eventually, he noticed that there was a voice that had stuck around a bit longer than the others. It never really asked much of him, just talked to him everyday. It was a light voice, quiet, yet it still drew his attention. A woman’s voice. Something about it seemed a bit more real than the others. It could cut through the darkness surrounding him and command his full attention. It never told him he needed to get out, or asked him whether he was happy down in his pit. It simply came by, day in, day out, and talked to him for a couple of hours. He began to enjoy this voice.

One day, he asked the voice for it’s name. There was a brief pause, before a single word floated down the into pit:

“Sarah.”

Ted closed his eyes and quietly tried the word out. He liked how it felt on his tongue.

He called back up.

“Hello, Sarah. My name is Ted.” He paused. “Sarah, why do you come by here and talk to me all the time?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just find you interesting to talk to.”

Ted was confused by that. “I can’t see why. All I know of is lichen and snails and this pit.”

A brief laugh. “Well, yes, I had noticed. I just like the way you talk about them.”

Despite his confusion, Ted felt encouraged by that. He began to really enjoy his conversations with Sarah, and with growing confidence and enthusiasm, he continued talking about lichen and snails and his pit. Sarah kept coming by day after day, and Ted began to dread the times when she wasn't there . Suddenly, he had begun to realise how dark it was, and how little sustenance  the snails and lichen were giving him. He didn’t want Sarah to see the full extent of his pit, for if she knew how he lived, she might not talk to him anymore. The very thought created a pain inside him that seemed deeper than even his pit, a pain he knew he may never escape. The walls of his pit seemed to be closing in around him, and the only thing he knew that would make it feel better was Sarah. Ted decided he had to get to her.

The next day, when Sarah came by, Ted asked her if she knew a way out. Sarah was excited by this, and disappeared from the mouth of the pit. Ted paced anxiously around the floor, before feeling something smack against his head. Flailing about in the dark, he grasped knotted fibres beneath his fingers. A rope.

Slowly, cautiously, Ted propped his feet against the walls of the pit. They sank into the walls, but eventually found more solid footing behind the layer of muck. Step by step, he used the rope to pull himself ever higher up the wall. The mouth grew larger and larger, and he saw a black shape silhouetted against the sheer white of the sky outside. Ted could scarcely look, but he forced himself to see. The shape gradually gained definition, resolving itself into a pretty young woman with a pleasant smile. Ted smiled back up at her, gaining speed. He barely felt the effort of his exertion, and the air seemed easier to breathe up here. It wasn’t too long before he finally felt her soft hand take his forearm and help lift him over the lip of his pit. Ted blinked his eyes, which were filling with tears from the glare. He shaded his eyes with his hand and looked around, but everything was so bright, he nearly stumbled back into the pit by accident. Sarah took his arm again and helped steady him.

Ted saw the world outside his pit. The dim memories of his life before the pit came back in a cascade of recollection. He saw all the colours he had long forgotten the names of. He saw all the plants and animals and sky and sun and life which had convinced himself were only dreams. He breathed in the clean air, which flowed through him with such ease that he simply stood there breathing in and out for a little while, enjoying smooth sensation inside him. It was all better, all wonderful. He had stopped believing that life could be enjoyable, as opposed to being merely endurable, but this bright world would never let him forget that. And Sarah, the wonderful Sarah, was up here in this world, and he never wanted to leave it again.

Sarah and Ted spent a lot of time together, just walking and talking and enjoying each other. Ted could not stop talking about everything he saw, and how wonderful he found it. He could not stop talking about Sarah, and how beautiful she was to him. Everything was all coming in at once, and he had to tell the world how wonderful everything could be.

Eventually, though, it began to grow dark, and Sarah had to go home.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked Ted, while hugging him goodbye.

“Of course!” came the exuberant reply. “I can’t imagine things ever being bad again.”

Sarah smiled, released him, and walked away.

Ted sat on some grass, and watched some ants make trails across the dirt, and was content. Before long, he lay down and went to sleep.

-----

A low vibration in the earth woke him. It was dark, now, and the stars were out. Ted lay back and looked up at the stars for a while, smiling. Life was good.

The low vibration came again.  Annoyed, Ted turned his head to the side to investigate the cause.

He saw a black shape moving through the grass in the night. It swallowed the starlight, and the very earth around it seemed to bend in and out of it as it moved. It was inexorably moving in his direction, leaving the landscape intact as it slid towards him. Ted’s eyes widened, and he crawled backwards in fear.

The pit.

The pit had found him.

A thousand panicked thoughts exploded in his mind, but throughout the turmoil, a single idea rose clear: he did not want to go back in there. The world out here had more beauty then he’d ever conceived of. Sarah was out here.

Sarah.

She had gotten him out of the pit, originally.  The pit had only showed up after she had left him. He needed to find her. He needed to stay with her always, just to keep out of that black, crushing hole. He scrambled to his feet, and started to run in the direction he had seen her go.

Ted stumbled over the surface world, his forward momentum carrying him near the very edge of his equilibrium. One misstep, and the pit would have him, and he’d never know the light and happiness of this world again. He didn’t know where Sarah was, but he knew that everything would be all right if he just stayed with her.

He could scarcely make out the terrain in front of him. Dark hills rolled before him, obscuring all definition. Dark shapes moved all around his vision, but he knew that if he focussed on any of them for too long, he’d risk losing his focus and balance, and he needed all his concentration to keep out of the pit. Gradually, at the apex of a hill, he thought he could make out the squat, blocky shape of a house. His frantic stumbling run moved with all force towards it’s front door. He slammed so hard into the wooden door that it rattled on it’s hinges.

“Sarah! Sarah, please, open the door! Sarah!”

He banged his fist against the door, calling out for her over and over again. He imagined he could feel the earth start to fall away beneath his feet. The pit would be just behind him. It had to be.

Finally, the door creaked open.

“Ted?”

He threw himself forward, gripping her shoulders tightly.

“You can’t leave me! You can’t! The pit’s coming after me! Every time you’re gone, it’s there. It wants me back. You have to stay with me.”

Sarah frowned, but took his hands in hers, lifting them from his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Ted, but I can’t always be around. You’re not the only one with problems. With pits. You’ll have to keep out of there yourself.”

Ted frantically tried to push his hands back onto her.

“You don’t understand, Sarah. I don’t know how. I can’t. I need you. Without you, I’m don’t know what to do. You’ve shown me what it’s like up here, and I’m happy, Sarah, I’m actually happy. For years I’d told myself that I was okay, but it’s only now that I realise how miserable I really was. I can’t go back down there, I just can’t! You have to stay with me. Please, just don’t leave me alone. Please!”

“Ted, you’re hurting me!”

Ted saw. His fingers were digging into her shoulders. Little trails of blood were running down his fingers and hands, pooling on the floor between them. Ted’s mouth gaped open, and he backed away in horror, a sickly, heavy feeling filling his gut.

He’d hurt her.

He barely even noticed that he was falling, until he hit the bottom.

-----

Ted was back in his pit. Back with the snails and lichen and the darkness. Back with the damp, cloying air that hurt to breathe. Back with the memory of a world and a person that crushed his chest more than the air ever could. Her voice didn’t come by anymore. The other voices were less frequent. He was simply there, back where he belonged. He couldn’t think of anywhere else to be. This was his world.

This is the way it had to be.

Didn’t it?

Ted looked up. Far, far above him, he could see the white circle of light. If anything, it seemed further away than ever before.

And yet…

Ted pressed one hand to the wall behind him. As usual, it sank through the muddy wall. He kept pushing, up past the elbow, now. He didn’t know how far he’d have to go, but he knew that he’d found solid ground before. Purchase. He could find it again. He knew he could. He had to. It hurt, but the memory of that other world remained, and he could no longer deny it.

He didn’t want to stay down here anymore.